forever concealed

This reads so good, in its rhythm,
This line should it be "been",
"Have being the brunt of endless"
a very good write, but I would say we all hide something from those which are not close.
It's the human condition.
Eddie C.

This is a good one, i like the theme. You are right it is impossible to really knows some one.

I agree with Eddie stanza three line one, should say been not being,.

I just have complete admiration for your writing.

love Louise xx

Ziggy,

I found this read all the more interesting because it reflects my own feelings ...and that of many others too, I suppose. I read this shortly after I posted "Mental Scars" here, and there was a line in your poem that mirrored a thought there:

it's not that I do not feel
but there will always be that I'll forever conceal,
if it's never spoken it's forever unreal.

On a technical front, I found an interesting rhythhmic flow to most of your poem but was surprised at your choices of line breaks. I would have thought something along the lines below would have made more sense to me.... but that is from the viewpoint of a songwriter / lyricist, lol.

(P.S. The second verse flummoxed me a bit, from the rhyme and rhythm point of view, so I've left it untouched....)

My inner most thoughts I will never reveal,
there will always be that I'll forever conceal,
where things are unexplainable not tangible or real.

So no one will ever totally
understand, knowing every
face that passed my way
some stop I greet
others stand and stare
but knowing me not I'll never care

Have been the brunt
of endless stunts,
inexhaustible but never up front,

it's not that I do not feel
but there will always be that I'll forever conceal,
if it's never spoken it's forever unreal.

Draw your own conclusions
but without the facts its just illusions,
mumbling confusions.

Good one,
Psyve

I read your poem twice and I understand exactly what you mean. I to don't let all of my feelings out. My poems are some of my feelings. But deeeeep down is where my true self will stay. Nice write my friend.

Friends,

Pixee