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Jan 21, 2025
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Four plus Seven equals Eleven
A number to be reckoned with,
A lot of meaning for me,
Eleven,
Some say angel wings,
But also a connection,
With two words,
Synchronicity and alignment.
I had a vision,
Of a white bed head,
Which looked very much
Like a tombstone.
On that bed head,
In thick black writing,
Four plus seven equals eleven.
I could see it clearly,
In my dreams.
And I awoke,
With that vivid picture,
In my mind.
And indeed,
It is aligned with my project,
A tombstone for Shaya,
Ready to be selected and ordered.
It is a white, greyish tombstone,
With simple lines,
Quite elegant,
With black lettering on it.
That dream,
Two weeks ago,
Came to me,
And lingers in my mind.
For me,
The end of the beginning
And the beginning of the end.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Context of this poem is obvious, although the actual content of my very vivid dream, a couple of nights before I went to the stone masons to select Shaya's tombstone, is not so obvious. Why 4+7=11? Who knows? But then why the first bed head, we purchased together when I was putting our home furnishings together? I could even see that bits on that bed head in the areas where the white was no longer as white as it was when it was new. It had stained to some parts being greyish to blackish in other areas. So, you can see, it is one of those really vivid dreams that I had, and still very memorable for me. I still have some perspectives on it which are emerging. Who knows? Maybe, I will be dredging out another poem or even journaling about it.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The imagery in your poem is vivid and evocative, creating a sense of mystery and introspection. The repetition of the number eleven throughout the poem adds a layer of symbolism and significance. The dream sequence you describe adds a surreal and haunting quality to the narrative.
One suggestion for improvement could be to further explore and expand upon the themes of synchronicity, alignment, and the significance of the number eleven. Providing more context or elaboration on these concepts could deepen the reader's understanding and engagement with the poem.
Additionally, consider refining the structure and flow of the poem to enhance its overall coherence and impact. Pay attention to the pacing and transitions between different images and ideas to ensure a smooth and compelling reading experience.
Overall, your poem shows promise in its unique imagery and introspective tone. By further developing the themes and refining the structure, you can strengthen the emotional resonance and depth of your work.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact