A Fresh Father

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the theme of seeking a positive paternal figure for a child after experiencing both toxic fatherhood and abandonment. The rhyme scheme is consistent (couplets), lending the poem a sense of order and predictability that mirrors the speaker’s desire for stability. The narrative is clear, moving from past trauma to active searching and eventual resolution.

The poem’s diction is straightforward, which supports accessibility but may limit emotional complexity. Phrases like “corrected with devoted maternity” and “someone to add” are direct but could be expanded or made more vivid to deepen the emotional impact. The use of “paternity test” at the end is a play on words, shifting from the literal to the metaphorical, but the transition could be more clearly signposted to avoid potential confusion.

The poem’s emotional arc is linear, but the speaker’s internal conflict and growth could be developed further. The poem tells rather than shows; incorporating more concrete imagery or specific moments could make the narrative more immersive. Additionally, the poem’s resolution is abrupt—consider exploring the aftermath or the ongoing process of integrating a new father figure.

Overall, the poem’s structure and clarity are strengths, but there is room for greater emotional depth and specificity. Expanding on the speaker’s feelings, using more imagery, and developing the metaphorical language could enhance the poem’s resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Liked the poem very much. Shows questions of the past with hopes for the future.

I liked these lines"

I asked myself at every meeting
if our family he’d be completing.

Would he be a dad who’d be devoted
to guaranteeing she’d be promoted?