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Dec 06, 2014
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G r o u n d d o w n
sparks we shone
brilliant
drawing heads
and doubts
throughout the jealousies
and envious hooks
we stole the pages
of each's book
sharpening like a skill
this trade
we flattened and dulled
the tempered
haze
Its winter now
fulfilled
and late
we throw the walls
kick stones
in spate
how we crowned
the victories
being first
drawing further
lost
further tossed
till we
are lastly
lost
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
10 years 7 months ago
Steve
nil carborundum Illegitimi seems that this is what your piece is about lol,
It is a mock-Latin aphorism meaning:-
"Don't let the bastards grind you down".
Loved this write I should comment more but yesterday has run out and I must sleep now, 00-23 am
Night young Wolf take tomorrow when it arrives as a new day for hunting , hunting for love and understanding then write about its sometimes feelings of futility.
Yours Ian and the Children
Esker
10 years 7 months ago
a movement Ian
friction produces sound
the moon pulls a tide like a shroud
a revealing
like a minstrel travelling show
some times we think we are sharpening ourselves
when we are dulling
to make something other
then
the before
thank you!
judyanne
10 years 7 months ago
i like this steve
but wondering about the final 'lost' - seeing as you've used the word only a couple of lines before ---
can i suggest 'adrift'?
i get more from this every time i read it - your usual great word play
love judy
xxx
Esker
10 years 7 months ago
ha
I didn't know how to to end this either and adrift is a situation
like losing your paddle at the dock before you begin your journey
something that happens to all...
humor then and Yes
its not describing what kind of Lost.
I like this
this is workshop kind of thing...making me think deeper
Thanks Judy!
Mr Esker!!