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paul
paul
Mar 26, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Galaxy

From her balcony window she stares
Into a night sky filled of wishing stars
She refuses to give up on fairy tales

She turns to me, and asks can you read poetry
That would take one to a dreamer’s galaxy
My passion awoke as words danced on the page
She said read till my soul finds wings in your words

I kept reading for the girl infatuated with dreams
Her tears, moved mountains and her smile saved souls
In a whispering voice she said, oh can’t you see
How were flying on passion in a poet’s galaxy

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi, Sylvia Plath and Neopoet as a whole.

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Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

13 years 3 months ago

lovely Paul

I felt I was there watching on as the girl turn to you asking you to write this poem

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 3 months ago

Dear Paul,

How were flying on passion in a poet’s galaxy

a typo? were = we're?

otherwise, this poem is enchanting! beautifully executed. I hope you have such wonderful moments in your life!

always, Cat

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 3 months ago

Ok, it's a good poem.

I would like you to try writing in plain English. Your poetry doesn't speak like people do. It's like you have a mission to teach the world or impose your pain on others.

Read Bukowski. Try writing like a normal bloke. Your meaning will reach more people and mean more to them.

I know you have reasons for writing like you do but let me give you an example.

I have a friend who loves cats. She wanted to paint cats. She took art lessons and refused to paint or sketch skulls, portraits, landscapes, she only wanted to paint cats. But learning to paint skulls, portraits, landscapes would have taught her to paint cats better.

You will be a better poet if you broaden your range.