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Dec 21, 2022
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A Game You Won't Win
You think you've broke me,
I got news for you i won't crack
You think i'm at my weakest,
You haven't seen nothing yet
I'm so tired of all of your games
One day you've disappeared,
The next you're reclaiming your fame
You were the one person that was there,
Gone in a blink of an eye,
Its obvious you had little to no care
So please just leave me be,
Let me set these broken pieces of eternity free
Please stop saying what you think I want to hear,
When two days later you're only going to disappear
I've spent so much time building up this wall
Never in a million years will I ever let you tear it down
When all is said and done,
Being left with your ashes is not something I would call fun
Pick a different place,
Honey you will not win this race
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
Welcome
Powerful writing always comes from a place inside and it’s difficult to share or articulate those feelings. Writing is an excellent way to quantify emotions and explore the cause behind thought and behavior patterns. I’m sorry you have apparently suffered at the hands of a careless lover or partner. I’m glad you found the site and decided to post. You got a good tool for processing emotions and I urge you to continue. It will bring you tremendous inner growth but fair warning; it can be an emotional roller coaster.
I would correct some crusty grammar issues like a double negative. First line “you think you’ve broke me”. So it should be “you think you’ve broken me” have is past tense and I’m not sure “you have broke me” works. “You think you broke me” or “you think you’ve broken me.” It’s a matter of verb tense and you’re not being graded and if you were I’d give you an A anyway for a great job.
Welcome again,
Tim
Ray Whitaker
2 years 6 months ago
Welcome to Neopoet!
I am looking forward to reading more of yiur work, in future!
Candlewitch
2 years 6 months ago
hello,
welcome to Neopoet, it is nice to meet you! your poem is forceful and stands on its own legs. it is a declaration that you have drawn a line in the sand, saying; Here, And No Further! I like it very much. I hope to see more of you and your work.
*hugs, Cat