Garden of Eden

Hi Raj, I love your poem, as Shirl says beautifully romantic. I think you could cut a few words maybe slim it down even further and loose some of the repetitions of 'when' and 'feel' perhaps? Eg.

When I see
a tulip, a rose, in sunshine
I see
your lips, your blush, your eyes
A Lotus blooms,
I sense your awakening
I see
the ripples in a pond
and feel
your desire
In the breeze
I hear your whispers
in the rustle of leaves
your sighs
I see
two swans necking in the pond
I am
consumed
in our bliss

not much of an edit I'm sure you'll agree! and just a few ideas for what is already undoubtedly a great poem :)
much love Beki xxx

the end:

We are consumed in bliss.

~A

We Shouldn’t Go Loose, Else We’ll Lose

Your comparison
Of the modalities of blissful love
To the changing seasonal flowers,
Is a wondrous thought...?

If you permit me to say,
The lips match the tulip,
The sunrise the eyes
What a surprise,
The blush of a rose
I once thought
Was only my repose

But the budding lotus
Takes my heart away,
The dew drops
Remind me of the final moments
Of lover’s play
You so vividly your ecstasy display
Blessed is the one, who came,
Below your soft weight
Albeit!