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Nov 14, 2024
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Garden of Incipience
I wish I didn’t
know you so well,
for being so far
into your soul blinded me.
I yearned for unruly entanglement.
You seek freedom of a different kind.
I know the thorns which accompany
the softness of your heart,
for we are all petals
swept between pavement cracks,
sometimes one finds a home
sometimes one remains waylorn.
We could have been everything.
I’ll let you go in time
slow and steady
somewhere as ink soaks pages
of this whiskey-drenched heart.
I cannot keep being the door
you land on when you fall apart,
the phone call you make when
you’re drunk, lonely
and think of me at 2 a.m. when
missing you pauses my 2 p.m. life
all the time.
It’s always been
someone else for you
And for me it’s always been you.
I would have moved my world,
given it to you
but you don’t want it anyway
so I’ll take it back,
reseed this garden
watch it burst into life alone
into its own unruly entanglement
weaving around me.
I will not move my world for you
anymore.
I am not a rose,
perched patiently among thorns
waiting for you.
I am a wildflower,
blown wherever the wind goes
and only spring knows
what incipience brings now.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Alas, I am back! Life got busy for a bit but I have made my way back to this lovely place. Hope everyone is doing well!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
7 months 1 week ago
Dear LilacLace
Dear LilacLace
I think this is our first time to meet, so a warm welcome to Neopoet.
This piece is kinda of bittersweet The raw feelings clearly show. I hope it's not something autobiographical (though I think it is)
No matter what, sometimes writing works well as a therapy.
For me I always tend to the more for less rule, and so I thought the second stanza could be trimmed as almost the same is told in the next verse.
However, you do certainly know that this is only a point of view that you can either take or leave.
I so much enjoyed the read from the very first of it to the last line.
Looking forward to reading more
Thank you for sharing!
Leslie
7 months 1 week ago
Garden of Incipience!
Sounds like you really got into deep water. I hope you were'nt traumatized by anothers illness. I don't believe they meant for it to happen that way. Sometimes our biology just won't allow us to find a peaceful place where we can enjoy the one we have fallen in love with. Take care, I thought this was a great poem and I hope you were able to work out your anguish in writing it. Just move forward, keep writing, the dawn it is coming. Eventually things will balance as you gracefully walk away. This is only an opinion,but I felt it to be a passionate reflection of how you view the people in your life.
Candlewitch
7 months 1 week ago
A warm welcome back,
I am so pleased to see you! I felt a deep running sorrow within the lines of this poem. Also an emancipation in the last lines, which are my favorite lines:
I am a wildflower,
blown wherever the wind goes
and only spring knows
what incipience brings now.
hugs, Cat xxx