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Jun 02, 2020
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Garden Variety... [Titles Workshop]
The garden grows from seeds and time
with water and hard toil
with sun and sweat from his brow
as he works this tired soil
Vegetables and flowers bloom
as the season marches on
And he will reap the rewards
and a bounty will be won
The air is clean, the breezes blow
the work is good for him
His muscles grow with the crops
he goes from fat to thin
So, work away in the dirt
keep your body lean
Eat your veggies, staying healthy
make sure you eat your greens
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I was going to use another poem for the workshop, but decided to write a new one after seeing someone working in his garden.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Lavender
5 years ago
Hi, Geezer
This feels happy - the pattern, the pacing, the theme. Even the soil seems re-energized in the end. The word 'Bounty' stood out to me, and would be my title suggestion.
Thank you!
L
Geezer
5 years ago
Thank you both...
for your suggestions on a title and for the praise you have given for a poem designed to work for any age. ~ Geezer.
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Geezer
5 years ago
I like the title...
Working for Food ~ Geezer.
.
Lavender
5 years ago
Excellent!
Double excellent!
L
scribbler
5 years ago
Hi Gee
Hmmmm...... hmmmm..... Sound thoughtful enough lol? I would consider a simple one word poem.."Growing" maybe? It would perhaps pull a reader in to see What was growing plus also cover the garden as well as the man growing