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zuella
zuella
Feb 05, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Garrotte

I should have known that times were tough when I turned against my poetry
When I turned against the only language I know
To speak in one that I could not understand.
I learnt his native tongue of vile words
With a nasty accent
And a curdled, scrunched face
And still, I wasn’t heard
So not only did I lose my language
I lost my voice and myself

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I am free now

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: belgium

Favorite Poets: its basic but i adore Mr Wilde and ive been reading his stuff for a long while.

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

4 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively conveys a sense of loss and disconnection through the metaphor of losing one's voice and identity by speaking in a language that is unfamiliar and unwelcoming. The imagery of learning a "native tongue of vile words" with a "nasty accent" effectively conveys the struggle and alienation experienced by the speaker. The use of language is evocative and helps to create a vivid picture of the emotional turmoil being described. One suggestion for improvement could be to further explore the emotional impact of this loss on the speaker's sense of self. Delving deeper into the internal conflict and the consequences of losing one's voice and identity could add depth and complexity to the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

4 months 2 weeks ago

Garrotte

Hello, zuella,
Curious title. This is a passionate read, I felt the strong intention. Love the opening line! I cannot imagine turning against poetry, so glad you have returned to its solace.
Thank you!
Lavender

zuella

zuella

4 months 2 weeks ago

I missed you lavender in my

I missed you lavender in my time away! glad to be back and thank you so much for your feedback. I wanted the title to be kinda gross sounding and a bit harsh and so the word I settled on also meant strangulation, which is what it feels like to not communicate, in my opinion. thanks so much!