Dec 20, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A GAZE TO THE UNSEEN

Once upon a time
Letting all align
Getting through a line
Pulling hard the twine

Every thought on mind
Gazing through the hind
All along like blind
Only get behind

To be seen ahead
Blindly set forget
Getting rid to set
Never met at then

Peeping through the side
Looking all of kind
Slowly walk remind
At last set aside

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Africa, Nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: Prof. Wole Soyinka, J.P. Clerk, L. Peters, William Shakespeare,

Comments

weirdelf

7 years 4 months ago

Before I comment, Olaniyi,

ask yourself why this poem has received no feedback for 1 month 2 weeks.

I can offer two reasons. On your profile you don't talk about yourself, you self-aggrandise. Write your profile about yourself, not like a self-promoting CV.

Most importantly you have given no feedback to anyone else. This is a community where we help each other. You need to give to receive.

Olaniyi Belove…

6 years 7 months ago

Appreciation

Thanks a bunch...Will apply...

weirdelf

6 years 7 months ago

eeww,

especially writing your profile in the third person is inappropriate. Here we a colleagues, peers and friends, sometimes even family, not self-promoters.

The poem has depths I can't fathom at first reading. It is well crafted. I will come back to it. ok?

weirdelf

6 years 7 months ago

I do like

"He is persistent and uncompromising in his pursuit for spreading wide morals, values and the beauty of nature."
Yes, kindness is the highest moral value.