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GETTING BLOWN
Shh! I'll sneak this in after the kids have gone to bed
First you take time to inhale
then cock your head and look at me.
Your smile reveals some hidden tale
or pleasure at what soon will be.
Next I'm held in gentle hand
which guides me to your waiting lips,
anticipation becomes grand.
Your lips open as if for sips.
My rim now enters soft warm mouth
as if finding a home long lost
in damp darkness way down south
as control is nearly lost.
As your cheeks expand I start to swell
(really, I have little choice)
for you do your job so well
you hum deeply with your voice.
As I swell my color turns bright pink
and pressure builds inside of me
it brings me to explosion's brink,
your warm breath bringing ecstasy.
Still you keep on with your work.
The ending will come very soon
as in your mouth I bob and jerk.
It's sure fun being a toy balloon.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
13 years 4 months ago
hi Mark
Ambiguity was the intent so maybe I did good lol..........stan
scribbler
7 years 2 months ago
LOL
Not quite all the way back yet but getting closer each day. Glad you enjoyed this oldie brought back via an edit
Candlewitch
13 years 4 months ago
Dear Stan,
I'm guilty!!! A dirty mind is mine, LOL! This piece is very clever indeed. You had me fooled until the end. I think your poem is a great success. A fun read with baited breath!
always. Cat
scribbler
13 years 4 months ago
Hi Cat
If your breath is baited remove the worms lol. Just a little play on words for my lecherous friends...........stan
raj
7 years 2 months ago
A naughty Boy Poem :)
A naughty Boy Poem :)
scribbler
7 years 2 months ago
NAUGHTY?????
What's naughty about inflating a toy ballon?
scribbler
7 years 2 months ago
Hi
Always good to bring a laugh to folks. Who's of thunk a poem about a ballon would do so (he says with wide innocent eyes).......stan
raj
7 years 2 months ago
Stan
you pretty well know why I said it ,,,besides the first line of your poem "Shh! I'll sneak this in after the kids have gone to bed" is a give away about what follows :) why wait to blow a balloon till kids go to bed eh!!!
................................................................................
lovedly
7 years 2 months ago
old
wine
in new bottles
glad in the ICU the best stan u can do
keep up the mind
we must again
a new
stan find