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S
scribbler
May 11, 2019 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

GETTING THROUGH THE NIGHT

I lay my head down late at night
after an exhausting day
then turn off the bedside light.
I'm too tired to even pray.

Thoughts keep racing through my mind,
memories of the day just passed,
muscles refuse to unwind.
Old aches assail me from the past.

My tossing wakens her from sleep
and she asks if I'm alright
as the clock hands slowly creep
in the wee hours of this night.

So I tell her that I'm fine;
she rolls over, hugs me tight.
Her touch soothes like some fine wine
Her love will take me through the night.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

6 years 2 months ago

I would

delete the line [like so many times before]. It doesn't rhyme and is superfluous. Maybe just go with;
Her touch is soothing, just like fine wine
Her love will take me through the night.
~ Gee.
.

S

scribbler

6 years 2 months ago

Hu Gee

Hmmmm....I know it doesn't rhyme.....I'm gonna do something soon about that but I don't want whatever I do to lose the thought contained in that line which denotes that this is far from a one time thing

Geezer

Geezer

6 years 2 months ago

Ok,I get it...

I do understand what you are trying to achieve. ~ Gee.
.

lovedly

lovedly

2 years 3 months ago

IF only Susan ma'am

Could open an Institution
for newly married
how to love
a lovedly hubby...

Point 2.
Her touch soothes like some fine wine
Her love will take me through the night

Her soothing touch like fine red wine
(Her) xxx and love will take me through the night

Please see two ;hers; so near
may replace with and as u deem it fit
Stan ask ma'am

S

scribbler

2 years 3 months ago

Hi Loved

I'll see what I can do about that close repeat