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Jan 13, 2023
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week January 8th to January 14th 2023
A Girl and I.
Above the seas on cliff top high
We sit alone, a girl and I
Soft clouds above,Gulls wheel and cry
As we sit close, a girl and I.
Nervous is she, nervous am I
As we move closer, a girl and I
Till in her lap my head I lie,
She sighs, and says, as she gives the sigh,
Please kiss me, please, and so I do
Soft breasts so full moist lips like dew
I dare to touch, what will she say?
She blushes, sighs, lets me have my way.
Above the sea on cliff top high
Naked we lay, a girl and I
Soft clouds drift over, Gulls wheel and cry
As we merge into one, a girl and I.
Long years have past since that girl and I
Locked hot our flesh 'neath summer sky.
I remember her name,I still hear her sighs
I remember the way she closed her green eyes,
But her face is lost in the mists of time
That is my loss, my shame, my crime.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Alex,
your poetry always knocks me for a romantic loop! it is breath-taking. the way you compose each sentence is an art in itself! it is like you breathe poetry. my favorite lines are:
Above the seas on cliff top high
We sit alone, a girl and I
Soft clouds above,Gulls wheel and cry
As we sit close, a girl and I.
thank you for giving so much of yourself to your craft!
*hugs, Cat
Alex Tanner
2 years 5 months ago
What to say?
Dear Cat, I know not what to say. Just thank you. I just hope my future offerings will not disappoint.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
A Romantic
This was beautiful and sounds so fitting of a first time with someone special. Excellent job.
Alex Tanner
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you
Thank you Rose, i am so pleased you liked it...Alex
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 5 months ago
Lovely
I just adore this type of writing; although, the ending is sad. The scene is perfectly set and the motions of this day are encapsulated here forever.
Tough luck finds us all one way or another I suppose. It’s been my experience with romantic love that it’s infinite. I can always love my wife more than I do. I’m running out of ways to express it. It’s so vast and addictive and boundless. Undefinable.
Gorgeous,
Tim
Alex Tanner
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you
Thank you Tim. i have been thinking for some while about writing this and trying to make it an easy read. Once i had worked it out it came very easy and I must confess it is one of my favourites. Alex.
Entend2u
2 years 5 months ago
Great Poem
I really enjoyed the read - at once playful, descriptive and emotional. I liked the rhythm of the piece. In fact, I felt I was there - which might have come as a surprise to you both.
Alex Tanner
2 years 5 months ago
It wasn't
It wasn't you was it?. Once I was with a girl in what I thought was a quiet spot when I realised we had an audience. I was horribly embarrassed, She was roused to greater heights. The things that happen when you live by the sea. lol.. Anyway I am pleased you liked it.. Alex