Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
GOLEM...sexual content
a knuckled skull
with no where to go
made of mud and blood
took a needle to sew
made her
during a blood moon
her parts for pleasure
some one to spoon
did it in shadows
so angels couldn't see
fashioned detritus
scraped a dead tree
gave her toes
and a small chin
played a samba
and shaped her thin
after i wove her
from spiritous mist
she called me god
i did insist
i wanted her sexy
incantations and scum
danced the who-la
resurrection did come
in barbarous tongue
enshrined truth on her head
she animated
and got out of bed
who am i
she begged to see
my lover always
i said with glee
what is love
she did inquire
its feelings of warmth
that do inspire
where are they, where is it
is it in this room
i have nothing in me
where does it loom
i pulled down my pants
she looked up with shock
oh my god she cried
what a beautiful cock
she came at me
unbridled and mad
grabbed me and broke me
and called me dad
she starved for a stuffing
and sucked like a pig
huffing and puffing
my dick got so big
we lived together
til i dropped dead
she lives forever
still waiting in bed
About This Poem
Last Few Words: In Jewish folklore, a golem is an animated anthropomorphic being that is magically created entirely from inanimate matter (specifically clay or mud). #sex #adult #explicit #death #occult
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
6 years 8 months ago
A funny take...
on the Golem. I wonder what the next person to visit that bedroom thought? Would she respond to them? The title is uhhhh... I wish you had said something like: "The Golem Sleeps" or Waits etc...
language was good and the theme too. Just the kind of thing that animates me. Lol. The ending is great, which prompted my questions. ~Geezer.
.
zebra
6 years 8 months ago
Hi Geezer
DUNO ;)
Thanks for the read and comments Geezer
Z
Eumolpus
6 years 8 months ago
Nice to see the rhyme
Makes the read very easy with a nice flow
I would drop “what is love “ and the few lines there. It trivializes for me the sexual tensions
thanks for the explanations!
zebra
6 years 8 months ago
Hello Eumolpus
Many thanks for the read and comment ,,,hmmmm on the line subtraction ,,,Will consider carefully ! :)