Good, greenlight.

Good green light so I floor it. I have to get past the
few blocks of dark, abandoned buildings and
deserted streets that lead me to the highway
home.
After all I insisted to all " I would be okay. "
But from my beloved second home back in
the

day, the South Bronx back to my home, New Rochelle I traveled.
From suburban to urban I went as a
teenager under the protection of family,
friends and neighbors n both ends.
Back then I felt at ease in both worlds, not
completely being apart of one.
I did enjoy the differences of each one. The
abundance of concrete versus green grass was
one. As !omg as I remembered where I was
to hold my purse guarded, or not.
But the open window air tells me I am close
to home.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Baltimore/Maryland

Comments

tyro

7 years 5 months ago

I think your line breaks are

I think your line breaks are superb. The musicality of you cadence leads to an easy flowing rhythm throughout. It is both nostalgic and subtly laid out. I am a fan.

chevyvent

7 years 5 months ago

Really Great Piece

After all I insisted to all " I would be okay. "
But from my beloved second home back in
the

day,
very interesting write you have here keep it going now you got this very good

themoonman

7 years 5 months ago

Hi Deet,

I like the subject line, special memories,
we all have them !!
I believe the poem could benefit from more
attention to the music or flow of the spoken
word, which could be accomplished with
punctuation and editing.

Example;
Good green light so I floor it.
Good, green-light, so I floor it.

After all I insisted to all

I'd remove one of those "all"'s, it would
improve the sound immensely.
Look for other ways when editing to
cut down words but keeping and clarifying
your theme.

Welcome to Neopoet !!!