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Gratitude

So here we are,
The night before the awakening.
June, my month of love.
May was beautiful.
Indeed I grew in love and shone like the sun.
Welcome to my Garden of June.
Be patient, all colourful flowers will bloom.
An awakening for both you and l.
You are a light, don't sleep on it.

A little push and we are here.
We can make it together don't be scared.
Thank you May, for blooming too.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Fct, NGA

Favorite Poets: Wole Soyinka , William Shakespeare

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

hello Phaizee,

in this line:
Indeed I grew in love and (shun) like the sun. try the word: (shone)

the poem is beautiful for welcoming in the month of June and hints at things to come!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 1 month ago

I agree...

the mood is light and wonderful for welcoming in the summer! However; in light of the fact that the word [light] is bandied about here, I wonder at the usage of the word in the line that says; "You are a light, don't sleep on it" ? Is that an adage or proverb that is common in your part of the world? ~ Geezer.
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P

Phaizee

2 years 12 months ago

That line... I just wrote

That line... I just wrote that. I haven't heard anyone around my side use it though. Thank you for the comment.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 12 months ago

I would take...

the advice of Cat and transform the word [shun] into "shone". ~ Geezer.
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