KINGZOMBIE

Mar 12, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

"This Grave that I Walk Upon"

I stand upon this unmarked grave,
hollow, mindless, numb,
I've been here far too long.
My skin, dry, cracked, and rotted,
all my memories gone.

A shadow of myself that's been lead astray,
I miss the peace of where I use to lay.
This hunger will not stop it does not pass,
this curse I pray will not last.
What have I done, why did I wake,
what was my sin, what rule did I break.

I walk upon this unmarked grave,
it is my soul that I could not save.
It is my grave that I walk upon,
in this world that I was from.

Now I'm destined to walk alone,
upon this grave that I call home.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Favorite Poets: I have many favorite poets but I like Poe the most.I would also feel wrong if I didn't include music to this also, for I find it to be of great inspiration.These are lyrics to a song by Monster Magnet called Ozium, it never fails to put me in the writing mood and thought I would share it, lol., " I'm up to my brain in the mire of an ancient swamp, Pteranadon smiles at me and flies up to god, Baby let me drink deep from your globes of reality, Writhe your naked ass to the mindless groove, baby give your tongue a taste and follow me up to my room, the bullgod has your head, and baby thats just fine, now it is time, we became the mighty cell, wrap those hungry jacks? to the mindless groove, they say we've got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, baby, the faster you gyrate the faster we'll be there, arms up overhead, a goddess in the ancient song, work that mighty world to the mindless groove, they say weve got a life time but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, they say weve got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied I will not be denied"

Comments

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

Thank You

Your comment means a lot to me, I'm glad you liked it:-)

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Rosi

I will look over your suggestions, Ive been very busy lately.I'm glad you liked it:-)

magics02

14 years 3 months ago

King

I would like to bookmark this and come back to it for a proper critique okay?

Blessings to you and the family this Sunday

Mona Magics
xoxo

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

I would love ...

I would love to here ant suggestions that you might have, thanks:-)

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

Wow Shirl

I'm glad that you found this thought provoking.I think you are the first person to ever get good bumps from something Ive written.Thanks for liking my brand of darkside Shirl:-)

Candlewitch

14 years 3 months ago

Dear KZ,

This poem is mournfully haunting. And you are so good at it, too! My favorite lines are:

A shadow of myself thats been lead astray,
I miss the peace of where I use to lay.
This hunger will not stop it does not pass,
this curse I pray will not last.
What have I done, why did I wake,
what was my sin, what rule did I break.

just one minor flaw, thats should be that's

always, Cat

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Cat

I'm glad you caught it, I totally missed it, lol.Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed it Cat:-)

magics02

14 years 3 months ago

Okay I promised I would be back

You know I read this and it is just okay for me .. I don't know something it's either long winded or off meter in places. I think I need to do some work on it, if you don't mind to be able to give it my honest review. I have to come back again okay but please pm me if I forget less you don't want me to and leave it as is. I like the depth of it but something I can't get the jive with. lol

I have been ill so try to do it on the morrow perhaps.

Mona

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Mona

All help is appreciated, just PM me whatever it is that you come up with.I haven't had any extra time myself lately, its been so busy around here.Thanks for all your time and effort Mona:-)