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Sep 11, 2015
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Green To Gold... [September Contest]
I feel it in my bones
I see it through my eyes
The change from summer tones
It's not a big surprise
The squirrel's tail is getting thicker
Leaves are changing color
The days go by much quicker
One blurs into another
Soon, cool nights will be upon us
The days begin with frost
We can depend upon this
Soon summer will be lost
But change is good, I'm sure
From summer green and bland
There is no better cure
Than September's hand
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
9 years 9 months ago
Just love this
I enjoyed the rhyme and how I could animate this in my spoken voice so flawlessly
Geezer
9 years 9 months ago
So glad...
that you enjoyed this one! I'm especially pleased, that you could speak this so well aloud. I try hard to make it so that when a poem I write is spoken aloud, it rolls right along. Thank you, ~ Gee
lovedly
9 years 9 months ago
very soothing change over
very soothing change over
like a gal switches off and dresses into her gown the night has come September breeze not much yet to freeze ....
Geezer
9 years 9 months ago
This one...
was easy to write. Mother Nature is not always subtle, but when she is, she is at her most alluring!
Thank you. ~ Gee
scribbler
9 years 9 months ago
Hi Gee
Very good use of near rhyme (something I'm not good at). Thanks for your entry.........stan
Geezer
9 years 9 months ago
I wasn't always...
good at it either! It takes practice and trying to fit the basic sounds together. I love the English language, because of all the different words that you can fit together. Thanks for your read and comment. ~ Gee
Sparrow
9 years 9 months ago
Gee
Good write there young man lol
I feel it in my bones but must smile at discomfort lol.
Yours Ian..