Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jun 22, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Greener fields!
Greener fields
lie in the distance.
If it weren't so
we'd cease to be.
Without hope
you cannot continue.
To express who
you want to be.
The multiverse
lies in the distance.
And angels are
guiding us there.
Maybe one day
we'll find our true meaning.
Fulfillment lies
at it's door.
If you think upon
all that you've been through.
Then you'll know
it's a matter of time.
Time to reflect
on your knowledge,
Of what it is you'd
like to be!
Never give up
on your dreaming!
No one can
take that from you!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: If I had no hope to continue, I'd look for a way to find an end. The future is definitely calling, but it's difficult to reach an end!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores the theme of hope and perseverance, using the metaphor of “greener fields” to represent aspiration and fulfillment. The structure consists of short stanzas, each with two to four lines, which creates a sense of progression and reflection. The repetition of “lies in the distance” in the first and third stanzas helps unify the poem and reinforces the motif of longing for something beyond the present.
The poem’s language is direct and accessible, which makes its message clear but also risks veering into abstraction and generality. Phrases such as “you cannot continue,” “the multiverse lies in the distance,” and “angels are guiding us there” are evocative but remain somewhat vague, which may limit their emotional impact. The use of the multiverse and angels introduces a spiritual or speculative dimension, but these images are not developed further, so their significance remains ambiguous.
The poem employs imperative statements (“Never give up on your dreaming!”) and second-person address, which creates an encouraging, motivational tone. However, the frequent use of generic advice (“No one can take that from you!”) can make the poem feel more like an inspirational message than a nuanced exploration of hope or self-discovery.
There are a few technical issues to consider. The line “Fulfillment lies at it’s door” contains a grammatical error; “it’s” should be “its.” Additionally, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery or specific experiences to ground its abstract themes and make the emotional stakes more immediate for the reader.
Overall, the poem presents a coherent message about hope and persistence but would be strengthened by more precise language, developed imagery, and attention to detail.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 months ago
The message...
of hope is eternal, is very apparent here. I agree that the message might be a little bit clearer, but if one follows the clues, they may see that there is a theme of continual battle to assert yourself. It may be that you have already gained an advantage, in such a case, as you are already looking for the silver lining. Aside from the minor punctuation mishaps, there is a strong theme here. ~Geez.
.