A Greeting from Palestine

When the morning aroma
brushed an olive tree,
it sent my soul free.
hushed the nestlings,
as if mystic lullabies.
silenced the angry waves,
and calmed the sea.
It stamped each blooming rose-bud
with an exquisite freshness
announcing a new day
for you and me.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

judyanne

12 years 5 months ago

lovely imagery rula

lovely imagery rula
I really like this write
imo it needs a few words culled – just me as you know
my ideas -

When the morning aroma
brushed an olive tree (at Home)
it sent my soul free(.-,)
( It) hushed the nestlings
as if mystic lullabies (. -,)
( It) silenced the angry waves
and buffered the sea (, -.)
It stamped each blooming rose-bud
with an exquisite freshness
( announcing – to announce) a new day
(to – for) YOU and ME. and I would lose the caps with ‘you/me’

love judy
xxx
.

Rula

12 years 5 months ago

Dear judy

Thanks for reading , the suggestions and the heads up.
I intentionally repeated the (it)as a kind of emphasise. Know what I mean?

scribbler

12 years 5 months ago

Hi Rula

If only all people were willing to greet change as easily as they do a new day. I would consider changing hushed to hushing and maybe check over the punctuation mark placements. And buffered......I know the word perfectly describes what I think you intend to convey but for some reason it doesn't seem to fit this poem. Maybe calmed or oiled or some such? Just my thoughts on this worthy poem..............stan

Rula

12 years 5 months ago

hello Stan

Thanks for the suggestions . I 'm not sure about hushing as all is stated in s past but sure i liked calmed better. Thank you

Frenchf

12 years 5 months ago

Palestine

I went there and this is so evocative. Thank you