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Marvel Godwyn
Marvel Godwyn
Jan 12, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

#haiku 1

bounteous rain fall
quenched perennial parched soil
heaves sigh of relief

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Nigeria

Favorite Poets: Jess Tapper , Shakepeare, Akinwande Olowole Babatunde Soyinka, Eumolpus, themoonman.

More from this author

Comments

Marvel Godwyn

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

I really appreciate your

I really appreciate your stopping by Lovedly, could you reread again please?
Quenched is a one syllable word
Perennial is a four syllable word
Parched is a one syllable word
Soil is a one syllable word.
I doubt if your complaint is clear to me ,are you saying the syllables are more than seven or less than seven?

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 5 months ago

Don't let the sycophant make any difference.

This is fucking good haiku, thanks brother.

We don't need to be very strict about the 5-7-5 syllable count. They aren't even syllables in Japanese.

What counts is saying something beautiful and profound whilst working within a tight structure.
You have succeeded.