Marvel Godwyn

Jan 14, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

#haiku 3

water gently falls
down verdant lush clad mountain
forms a pure fountain

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Nigeria

Favorite Poets: Jess Tapper , Shakepeare, Akinwande Olowole Babatunde Soyinka, Eumolpus, themoonman.

Comments

Ja Ja

7 years 5 months ago

haiku

A haiku by design.
With a simple rhyme.
A well writ piece of work.
Surely not a quirk.

Thank you kindly for the read

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

Thank you so much Ja Ja, I

Thank you so much Ja Ja, I really appreciate your comment.

scribbler

7 years 5 months ago

Hi Marvel

Haiku and Senryu are great for taking "snapshots " aren't they? And adding a rhyme which isn't required is a bonus......stan

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

Yes Scribbler I agree they

Yes Scribbler I agree they are for snapshots and I also know they don't require rhymes though mine ryhmed .I really appreciate your stopping by to read and your comment too.Thank you so much.

raj

7 years 5 months ago

Created the imagery for me

Created the imagery for me which you desired to bring out in this Haiku

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

Thanks raj.

Thanks so much raj,your comment is so encouraging.

weirdelf

7 years 5 months ago

It is challenging to be original and expressive in 17 syllables,

eh?
Great efforts so far. Read some of the famous ones, like Baisho. Those 3 short lines can be very powerful, and note the distinction Stan made between haiku and senryu.
You don't have to be pure in form but it always pays to know exactly what you are doing.

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

I will surely do some more

I will surely do some more readings Jess, and thank you so much for this precious comment, it is so much appreciated.

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

I will surely do some more

I will surely do some more readings Jess, and thank you so much for this precious comment, it is so much appreciated.

Marvel Godwyn

7 years 5 months ago

I will surely do some more

I will surely do some more readings Jess, and thank you so much for this precious comment, it is so much appreciated.