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Dec 30, 2022
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Haiku #6
A low sun watches
a poorly swept-up frost; hang its'
cobwebs out to dry.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 5 months ago
Stunning!
What can a guy say but bravo. What a linguistic photograph you’ve got here.
Gorgeous
Tim
Loki
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you indeed.
Thank you indeed.
Geezer
2 years 5 months ago
I can see...
that picture of dew dropped web blowing faintly in the warm sunshine! Like Mrs. Spider just washed the sheets from her bed.
Nice stuff. ~ Geezer.
.
Jackweb
2 years 5 months ago
Great job!
Personifying the sun is a very beautiful poetic device used in the poem. Nice one!
.
Loki
2 years 5 months ago
Yes......I strive to
Yes......I strive to personify without sentiment to help the reader to access the images. Difficult though to stay minimalist.