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Haiku

winter spreading―
on a wire between two buildings
sheets stiffen
Samantha Beardon

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 7 months ago

There are many...

who will not believe that what you have written is Haiku; because they subscribe to the notion that there is only one way to count the meter. [5-7-5] I suggest that they look at some of the masters work; like:

Matsuo Basho:
Autumn moonlight -4
a worm digs silently -6
into the chestnut -5

Yosa Buson:
A summer river being crossed -8
how pleasing -3
with sandals in my hands -6

Masaoka Shiki:
After killing -4
a spider, how lonely I feel -8
in the cold of night -5

Kabayoshi Issa:
O snail -2
climb Mount Fuji -4
but slowly, slowly -5

I do believe that Westerners put limitations on Haiku, to make it
easier and more palatable to the masses. You have embodied the spirit of Haiku.
~ Geezer.
.