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Jun 03, 2011
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Haiku #9
an eagle in flight -
the sky entangles its blue
into an eye
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A repost. Haiku are fun.
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Nordic cloud
14 years 1 month ago
The word entangled
Is this a new kind of haïku? A modern type that uses complicated words to describe the simple, not meaning that it is simple in any way, but haiku tended to be self explanatory, not trying to draw attention to themselves but to the event or vision.
The word entangled for me is not the exact one I would use in this context. The idea of the colours being reflected and mixing in some way in the Eagle's eye I like, but could there be another word that said it just as excitingly yet in a more direct manner?
I like it though, Love Ann
Nevel
14 years 1 month ago
Nope, it's just one of the
Nope, it's just one of the many ways a KU' can be written. The word "entangles" makes perfect sense, as it juxtapositioned with the previous image. The usage of simple words in haiku connotates not always a simple situation/scene/etc. It's all a matter of sematics. I don't understand your "...haiku tended to be self explanatory"?.....in my knowledge, haijin are supposed to be egoless, more observers.
Greetings,
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
Kailashana2
14 years 1 month ago
I love *entangled* in this Ku
I love *entangled* in this Ku, Nevel.
Why? Because it alludes to the eagle's eye, its claws and talons, and the way its wings grasp the sky.
~A
inside the seeing,
the shade of creation lifts
heavy wings, soaring
(Thanks for the dance Nevel)
Nevel
14 years 1 month ago
you got it, Anna
you got it, Anna
and thank you for sharing this dance with me.
Love the word "heavy" in your ku, say so much.
Greetings,
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
Nevel
14 years 1 month ago
China Blue,
China Blue,
my haiku doesn't follow the tradotional 5-7-5 syllable count. It's a misunderstanding, based on the Japanese sound-symbols. Modern haiku simply has about 11 syllables, to make it work properly, although less is better. They honor the traditional by making the first line short, the second long, and the third short.
Greetings,
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)