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Apr 23, 2011
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Haiku IV
"The contours of earth
Are the roads traveled in life
Searching for our place"
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Hooded Stranger
14 years 2 months ago
Eddie
Eddie
地球の輪郭
人生で旅行される道路です
我々の場所を捜します
I thought a Japanese translation would be helpful! Lol!
I liked this one better than the other three you posted - it had a much deeper meaning.
Perfect syllable counts.
Good job,
HS
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Dan
Che-Che,
地球の輪郭
人生で旅行される
LMAO
thanks bro, it's appreciated!
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
hmph!
multi-lingual show offs lmao. It Is better that last two...............stan
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Stan
Gracia por tu comentario!
Hahaha!
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
LOL
Mah multilinguahl expertise onlah exteynds ta Suthern aynd Anglish ya'll.............stan
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Stan
Take your shoe off, y'all stays a spell. My lady is from New Orleans, Cajun at that. So now we're talking real American English.
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Ian
"If I'm drunk a write a Haiku about the deeper meaning of life, does that make me Japanese?"
thanks Ian and yes we're letting the bottles fly, duck there's one going your way. hahaha!
Hooded Stranger
14 years 2 months ago
Ian
Ian,
the translation is not perfect!...It says:
An outline of the earth
It is a road traveled in
In the life I look for our place
but who cares, I was only trying show off anyway!!
There some sideway nines in there aren't there, good spot!!
Lol!
HS
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Dan
That's terrible, that's what you get for showing off. lmao
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
This one is deeper,I think
This one is deeper,I think the idea of haiku is to make a person see it more as a shortform for an aphorism, a deeper meaning than just the words and syllable. It's a specific art that Basho did so very well. Keep working on it. I do on mine occasionally I get the urge :P
white crane over tree's
smoke from house seen from above
wisdom smiles on them
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Chez
once in a blue moon I work a little. Hahaha!
But this ain't one of them.
It's better thanks, I have a few more that I will post at a later date
raj
14 years 2 months ago
Hi Eddie
"The contours of earth
Are the roads traveled in life
Searching for our place"
i liked your Haiku and was inspired to come up with this one..
Under the awning
of a beautiful sky dome
we seek our abode
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Raj
It's such a beautiful thing when a poem can inspire another poem that's so stunning. I hope you posted this one for everyone to enjoy!
Thanks for the generous comment.
magics02
14 years 2 months ago
I like this
I really like your Haiku's Ed. Hope you had a Happy Easter with family and friends
Mona
xox
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Mona
Thanks sweetie, I appreciate your thought. I don't celebrate Easter or any other catholic holiday
Again thank you anyway you enjoy yours.
Thanks for the comment on the poem
magics02
14 years 2 months ago
That is okay
Happy Sunday just the same and keep on writing,,:)
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Mona
The same to you!