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Warrior Princess
Warrior Princess
Aug 28, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Hand of God

I survived the perils of life
The mistreatment torture and maltreatment
Norms of how a family should be
Yet I crawl, I stand, I walk!
Each step I took
I felt the presence of the immortal
Standing by my side
Days I fell and prayed to die
The hand of God carried my body.

The angels came and embraced me
With majestic presence
Their love surrounded me
My soul looked up and longed for the garden
The garden of Eden to be awakened.

Yet in this physical realm, she had to stay
To complete her purpose and help others heal
To comfort another grieving soul
Through the words of her poetry
A hope for the abused, a freedom song in the heart
The courage to live, stand bold and strong!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thank you everyone for commenting on this piece. I am truly honoured by all feedback.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: South Zone

Favorite Poets: Maya Angelou, Beau Taplin, Nelson Mandela, William Shakespeare, Lucy Maud Montgomery

More from this author

Comments

Triskelion

Triskelion

2 years 10 months ago

Dear princess

I encountered some confusion when I started into verse 3. Another verse in between 2 and 3 might help to transition between "I" and "she". Who is "she"?

Thomas

Warrior Princess

Warrior Princess

2 years 10 months ago

Thomas, stanza 3 refers to

Thomas, stanza 3 refers to the angels of the heavenly being, commenting on the body which left the soul, and so the person "I" was referred to as "She" to go back to this world and continue her purpose. Thank you for reading and sharing your comments.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 10 months ago

I would have continued...

with the I identity, for the rest of the poem. You also need to fix the tense in the line: "My soul looked up and long[ed] for the garden. Other than that, good work. ~ Geezer.
.

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 10 months ago

The Hand of God

Hello, Warrior Princess,
Pretty intense language and emotion. I can feel the struggle, and even more so, the victory - "Yet I crawl, I stand, I walk!" Chilling! I sense that the voice of the third stanza belongs to the angels, or the heavenly being(s), or God. Apologies if I am interpreting incorrectly, but for me, that works beautifully. You and your gift of poetry are meant to stay, to offer hope and deliver courage to those who are experiencing similar perils in life. Very inspiring!
Thank you!
Lavender

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 10 months ago

Thank you Lavender...

for bringing that perspective into view! I hadn't thought of it that way! Yes, I can see that! I'm not sure of how to make it any clearer any sooner though. Geez.
.

Warrior Princess

Warrior Princess

2 years 10 months ago

Yes Lavender, thank you for

Yes Lavender, thank you for sharing your perspective. You are right, the 3rd stanza is the heavenly beings speaking. Thank you for your encouraging words.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 10 months ago

I think...

the transition of the third stanza to the fourth can better be clarified by using the words [had to stay] rather than dwell.
Of course, just an opinion, but I think the reader might be more easily brought to the conclusion that the angels or heavenly beings are commenting. ~ Geezer.
.