Hard to tell

for living comes with age. Not a passion for money or the things that it can buy. What people want, is fidelity without recompense; feeling secure in the knowledge that people like you for who you are, not what they can get from you. As for hanging oneself... I am sure that it is not much fun. I am constantly re-inventing myself; taking my psyche apart and putting it back together in ways that I can live with. That is my goal, being able to live with who and what I am. I want to be the person that my mother would want to know, if she met me for the first time today. I never show my mother, my Killer works. I know the arguments I would give for him, but she wouldn't understand. ~ Geez.
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to me there's several very strong ideas. each stanza feels too disconnected to the idea posed in the title and first line.
The last stanza has a great finish...and could be simply this, a poem in itself: ( a few minor changes)

When I look at my garden
and see a bird sitting on a branch
minding its own business, I think:
Wouldn't it be easier to just hang myself
but not as much fun.

That's both very funny to me, with a lot of expansive thrust. It sticks with you. Very Robert Creely.

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Hello Edna, lots of sad ideas in your prose poem. It's powerful writing and you do it so well. Eumo has already suggested some changes. I agree with him, he's always so helpful.
The imagery is fine and so is the title. I got upset about the "hanging" part. No other nits, best, Gracy

The second stanza can see straight into my soul. Am I THAT basic?
While I can't make a clear connection between the stanzas, I do think there is something to be said (something you've said) about how we can want such good things and at the same time we can just want to die.