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Sep 09, 2015
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Harvest(September's contest)
Ashes of last nights bonfire
now whisked away on the chilled air
the harvest moon reflects the fallen leaves, that snap and crunch
beneath my feet
Picking up a tumbled leaf,not quite gone it’s way
I cannot help but think of how it was
once unscathed and alive without a price
to pay
The season was kinder to it then
fresh and supple it did grow never a thought given
to the coming
snow
Yet there is a calmness in this night
as the cycle moves on and thoughts
take flight
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
9 years 9 months ago
Very "moody".
That's not quite the word I want, but it will do. The language rolls a little like butter (how's that for a metaphor?).
There is also an underlying cruelty here. Talk of death and such, but then that's autumn.
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
Wes
Thank you Mr. Snow that is exactly what I was trying to bring across. Yes that is a metaphor isn't it
Sparrow
9 years 9 months ago
Chrys
Well the Snow arrived with a metaphor of butter that wouldn't melt in his mouth lol.
Grand write there, another month to wait to find out I am at least second lol.
Take care out there and I send you all love as warm as toast to put the butter on,
Yours as always Ian..
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
Ian
thank you
scribbler
9 years 9 months ago
Maybe pensive
is the word wes is looking for. Regardless, a fine poem thanks for entering........stan
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
Stan
thnak you Yes you could say it is pensive
and you are welcome thought I'd throw something out there and see if anything bit
wesley snow
9 years 9 months ago
Pensive.
Excellent.
I concur. Do you concur? I concur.
Sparrow
9 years 9 months ago
Concur
A verb to describe a Dog that makes you do things you don't want to do,
Have a great day ya'll,
Yours Ian..
Con Cur
There is an opening for a word search and use here..
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
glad
ya'll are having fun lol I write a serious poem and you guys throw it to the dogs
raj
9 years 9 months ago
Splendid, reflective, crisp.
Splendid, reflective, crisp. It made me connect to the mood & thoughts.
Regards,
alidzain
9 years 9 months ago
Hiya Chrys! (Shouting in greeting)
Just peekinng. This is a sublime piece of poem you've written. All the best!
Alid
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
Raj and Alid
thank you both very much
wesley snow
9 years 9 months ago
Now wait a minute.
I wasn't picking on you. I really thought the poem was excellent and needed no revision. Then, I acted silly using a line from "Catch me if you can". It was only because I felt good for a change.
Sorry if you misunderstood.
China Blue
9 years 9 months ago
wes
none needed I thought it was funny really I saw the humor in throwing the poem to the dogs it is sad that you cannot hear or see the inflection and expression so much gets mis read ask anyone that knows me well I see humor in the strangest things and get these visuals and can't stop laughing
Sparrow
9 years 9 months ago
Chrys
Great to see such fun
I wasn't picking on anyone
Your write was better than mine
But given time
I shall claim the prize
I hope you also realise
I is always number two
Number one wont do
It is much too much you see
The arrow heads
Are too much for me
They adorn my lobby.
I have a set ,
for all seasons now
Can't think where
he gets them somehow.
It is getting near Sunday am practicing for my sermon LOL.
Take care Y'all
Yours Ian..
Barbara Writes
9 years 9 months ago
Nice one chrys
I'm usually moody and negative but after a week in Hawaii I'm feeling less moody and positive. Lol I like how you correlate the positive mood of summer to one of a negative autumn. And summer is life of all creatures either hiding or dying from the chill of autumn then death to the bite of winter.