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Aug 14, 2013
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Hazinashunz
glitter gnash
a gullotine smile
slash
depths swirl
in flashback knell
cotton candy coloured
pulse waves
like a vein charged
arterial spur
drawn back
the ghost
veil
the wishing hall
the bitter mirror
throw on the crumpled
persona crouched
in the door chair
ring in a fresh packet
of ideals
on jangled
urges
the run dipped
in its
glaze
like silverfish moon
on flourscent fire
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
11 years 11 months ago
Steve
This feels as if we should see what you are seeing but it needs a little help to let us in.
This sounds like someone thrashing around in feelings they can only feel not understand.
Take care out there yours, Ian.T
Esker
11 years 11 months ago
interesting to note....
running a system based on feelings...
and or trying to live through life in its speed and haste
doesnt give one time to stand around and think
about it all...
affect..effect
poetry is about feelings a lot of the time
not just metaphorical understandings
and descripts
I am running my system through much
these days to try to say...as A poet
I have to be flexible and dive deep
through feeling....and with an understanding
to craft something that has a resolution
that is not as abstract that others cannot
follow..
and to be creative enough to have a great
profile....
I do have both but crafting them
together is a great goal at this point
Ian.T
11 years 11 months ago
Steve
It is so hard to connect those two things then to convey it to others.
It will need a lot of work from you, there needs to be a base that is known to all even a cliff edge has to have a starting point that is common to all, Good reasoning, Yours Ian.T
loved
11 years 11 months ago
A world that is beyond compare
without you and this one is
BEYOND ME
Esker
11 years 11 months ago
leaning on the listen.....
I remember the old writes on the old Neopoet..
I go back to the archives often
halcyon days
been writing and moving
further and further into something
that most would never want to be
a non comfortable position
but one that like all journeys
does not reveal its purpose
until far out to sea....
nothing like the Order of the day!!
loved
11 years 11 months ago
then pray
then pray
visit my archives some day
deep within your thoughts do spray
just to enlighten me
but don't betray and say
you like it just because
you don't want to hurt me
but be frank to the bone ....
hit me hard with a stone
then alone a sculptor I will be
of enameled poetry
worthy of reading by all \
including me
Ian.T
11 years 11 months ago
Steve
You say that you have been writing and moving
further and further into something that most would never want to be
a non comfortable position but one that like all journeys
does not reveal its purpose until far out to sea....
You are moving among your own thoughts,
yet you forget that we are part of you,
in that we read of your thoughts,
and connect with those obscure ways.
We feel,
Yet understanding, may be out of reach to us left here.
I shall sail away into the deep Ocean and await your arrival.
Then we can steal the wind out of each others sails and rest a while.
There the words and feelings will turn us all ways.
Then the Great Spirit willing, they will show us the way Home,
Yours Ian.T
Esker
11 years 11 months ago
Point is the point.....
I am not a gung ho bold..
I have met those and admired those
who can ride the waves
crest into crowds
and speak easy with no fear
volleys of surety
Yes....Neopoet has always been here for me
since I arrived in July 2007
six years now!!
I enjoyed writing works like I had in those years
but I yearned to break into something entirely
different from all the descriptors
Like graffitti
or advertisements
Because you have always taken the time to comment
and we have chatted long now to forge a poet connection
in works...I will very much Ian try to bring back the
connections......I remember reading all the artists
poets who asked for feedback long ago did this also
Thank Youll