He Was Banished

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem constructs its argument through a series of associations with Mars: first as the Roman god of war, then as the planet, and finally as a cultural symbol for masculinity. The progression from mythological to astronomical to pop-psychological references is clear and methodical, and the poem’s structure reflects this movement, with each stanza shifting focus.

The poem’s central conceit—contrasting stereotypical “Mars” masculinity with the character of Alex—relies on the reader’s familiarity with the phrase “men are from Mars.” The poem’s logic is consistent: Mars is established as a symbol of aggression and emotional distance, and Alex is then positioned as an exception to this paradigm, “deported from Mars” for his openness and peacefulness.

The language is straightforward, with little ornamentation or figurative language beyond the central metaphor. The poem’s tone is explanatory, almost didactic, which fits the progression from fact to interpretation. However, the poem’s reliance on exposition (“It was revealed over / thirty years ago that / men are from Mars”) may limit its emotional resonance, as it tells rather than shows the contrast between Alex and the Mars archetype.

The final stanza is the poem’s most effective, as it grounds the abstract discussion in a specific character and action. The phrase “deported from Mars” is a clever twist on the established metaphor, though the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery or detail to make Alex’s difference more vivid.

Overall, the poem’s argument is clear and its structure logical, but it could be strengthened by incorporating more sensory detail, figurative language, or narrative elements to more fully realize the contrast between Mars and Alex. The poem’s engagement with cultural stereotypes is thoughtful, though the delivery remains somewhat expository.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

take on this one. The little twist at the end is awesome! I didn't see the relationship to the actual prompt until then. Nicely done. ~ Geez.

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What can I say, I always try to be objective when commenting and I always try and hope not to upset a fellow scribe. I'm old fashioned I suppose, I like my poetry to flow and rhyme. I liked the thinking behind this but......I thought the execution was dreadful. There, I've said it and I sincerely hope you will not take offence, after all this is just an opinion, not a critique. Alex.

Last stanza did it all! Liked your poem a lot. I did have to read several times but finally got it! Good luck!

I agree with Geezer and I loved how the poem flowed without snags. my favorite lines (I feel the need to print them out):

Alex openly shares his
day with his partner.
He is devoted to peace
and love and loyalty.
He was deported from Mars.

good luck on the contest!

fondly, Cat xxx