Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 14, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
HEAVY AIR
Still, hardly a single breath of air
Till distant thunder grumbles
Omen of what the clouds will bear
Racing as they build and tumble.
Moisture falling everywhere.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Dis you see it for an acrostic first time through?
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
9 years 2 months ago
hello Stan
A clever acrostic indeed.
Take care.
scribbler
9 years 2 months ago
H Rula
Plain acrostics aren't my favorite type poetry so when I Do write one I add a bit of challenge by making it rhyme. Thanks for the read and comment......stan
jane210660
9 years 2 months ago
Yes very clever and I can
Yes very clever and I can just smell and feel the air. Jx
scribbler
9 years 2 months ago
hello Jane
Thank you. I appreciate your time to read and comment.......stan
Keith Logan
9 years 2 months ago
this picture
of a dry spell coming to a sudden end in a hearty cloudburst is one that can be appreciated by many living in varying and different areas of the world but not Scotland where rain is never far away.
scribbler
9 years 2 months ago
Hi Kieth
I suspect you get tired of scraping moss out of your ears lol. Appreciate your visit.........stan
judyanne
9 years 2 months ago
good acrostic Stan
And short and sweet - another just like me :-)
Can I suggest you change the last line to read simply 'moisture falls' ??
Love judy
xxx
scribbler
9 years 2 months ago
Already called you shorty
so now I'll call you sweety lol. Can't follow your suggestion though. It would mess up rhyme.......stan
mand
9 years 2 months ago
Hi STan
I second all the above comments. ( that's what you call a lazy comment ) Lol
You hit the spot for me on this one - I love thunder storms and the electrifying atmosphere!
Love Mand xxx
scribbler
9 years 2 months ago
Hey Mandy
I've ridden out one tornado in my life and we had a hail storm so heavy the other afternoon that it looked like it had snowed the following morning. I also love storms.........stan