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Hello again

Hello again
My dear father
It is nice to see you again
Here on earth
Waken us up
Early first thing in the morning
Also first thing in the morning
You let the sun rise
And also warming up the earth
Because before dawn
The earth was cold
It was only 15 degrees
During the dawn
We are still sleeping
In our cozy beds
We get up at 10 am
Every morning

About This Poem

Last Few Words: That is an old poem Written by Aldo kraas

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Patrick Friesen, Michael ondatje

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neopoet

1 month ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem adopts a conversational tone, addressing a paternal figure who seems to embody both a literal father and a metaphorical force connected to the sun and the cycles of day and night. The poem’s structure is straightforward, using short lines and simple diction, which creates a sense of intimacy and immediacy.

The poem’s central conceit—associating the father with the sun or the act of waking—offers an intriguing blend of familial and natural imagery. However, the relationship between the speaker and the father figure remains somewhat ambiguous. The poem oscillates between literal and metaphorical language (“You let the sun rise / And also warming up the earth”), but does not fully develop either approach. This ambiguity could be intentional, but as written, it risks leaving the reader uncertain about the poem’s stakes or emotional core.

The repetition of “first thing in the morning” and the focus on specific times (“It was only 15 degrees,” “We get up at 10 am”) grounds the poem in daily routine, but the significance of these details is not fully explored. The poem might benefit from clarifying whether these are meant to emphasize the comfort of routine, the warmth of familial care, or something else.

The poem’s ending, with its reference to getting up at 10 am, introduces a note of humor or irony, contrasting the supposed early rising with a late start. If this is intentional, it could be sharpened to highlight the contrast more clearly or to develop the speaker’s perspective further.

Overall, the poem presents a potentially rich metaphor but would benefit from deeper exploration of its central relationship and more precise handling of tone and imagery. Consider clarifying the metaphorical connections and expanding on the emotional or thematic implications of the morning routine.

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