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Aug 07, 2022
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week Contest August 7th to August 13th Winner
Hephaestus And Prometheus
Prometheus,
Oh temple brother of mine,
Somber omen has been fulfilled,
Within my tearful eyes,
A pitiful plight ails you,
I have become your inflictor of torment,
Your eternal hate shall haunt me,
Can you ever forgive me,
Prometheus speaks,
I have placed upon my scales,
My heart which is filled with brotherly love for you,
And it has certainly outweighed my hate,
So fear not,
Your chains shall be a comfort to me,
As they are from you,
Forever with me,
Oh brother of mine.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
RoseBlack
2 years 10 months ago
Wow
A mythological demonstration of the sibling relationship as far back as stories are told. A good take on the story, excellent flow and use of language. I wouldn't change a thing.
:)
C. Wolff
2 years 10 months ago
thx!
thx!
Jackweb
2 years 10 months ago
Great work here!
I felt it all around me. Poignant lines, emotive, heart rendering...
The sweetness of creating an environment by creating a wonderful rhythm from sound to sound has emerged in the poetic description of his mind in an aesthetic sense. Thought, imagination deserves praise.
.
Ray Whitaker
2 years 10 months ago
Really nice work on this one
It is all to easy for we modern-day folk to ignore the age-old wisdom...
I like the way you structured the poem. The eight line stanzas are fulfilling of what your intent is to show. Tough subject, IMHO.
I think I would join S2L9 with the previous line, as the second stanza is actually a nine line one.