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Jan 17, 2015
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Her Deepest Tremor
aroused at her core
molten pressure triggered
optimal pressure increases
steam escape velocity extreme
plate structure agitation
fissure motion
set to…-_
– - shift jarrr!!!!!
roll-symphonic jack hammers
jolt- /sway… not-rock-ab’a
rock a-city– -seismic s- — - hu - d
d-e - – er - -
Calm to discombobulate’/disor’der
re secure civil structure…
until she shakes again
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
10 years 5 months ago
Wow David !! big smile
Phew, that was a quickie ! but it worked lol, I have to say it was a little too soon to finish I think it could have been drawn out a little more but that's just me being greedy again I suspect, Sorry but I have to run I have a plane to meet in a few hours and I need to get sorted to drive and pick them up, I will say very well done hun I did enjoy the read short though it was lol giggle
love Jayne x
wesley snow
10 years 5 months ago
I'm sorry,
but I had a little trouble seeing the poem in the odd language. It may just be me.
I often say that when a poem is being read it is not the poet who is being judged, but rather the reader.