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This poem is part of the workshop:

NARRATIVE POETRY SHOP (Let's get started)

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This poem is part of the challenge:

Neopoet Random Challenge 3

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HER MAJESTY

HER MAJESTY

I ventured out beneath the pale
Oceanic sky in the summery heat;
My thoughts were of my lover, soft, discreet,
When I found her dreaming on a rosy dale.

Her eyes were dark and of ancient folk lore;
They shimmered like diamonds in the gilded lights,
And beamed like streams from angelic nights,
From that lovely Carolingian gaze she bore.

JOHN LARS ZWERENZ

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: Gerard Nerval, Edgar Allan Poe, Charles Baudelaire, Paul Verlaine, Lord Byron, John Keats

More from this author

Comments

S

scribbler

2 years 10 months ago

hello

Sounds like a rhyme of the olden poets.I have 2 suggestion : line 3 , omit were. Line 5 try "her eyes were the dark of ancient folk lore." Just a couple of ideas you might consider