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Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Jun 03, 2021 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Here I sit and here I stare

Here I sit
and here I stare.
Watching the
clouds glide
across the air.
No more worries
no more cares .
Leaving my
soul to soar
up god's
golden stairs.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde , William Wordsworth

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 1 month ago

Sounds as though...

you are looking at the sky. Very nice; only one thing to fix; [god's]. ~ Geez.
.

A

Arrow

4 years 1 month ago

Flow

I think this might flow better if you ended lines on strong words, rather than weak words. For example:

Here I sit
(and) here I stare.
Watching the (clouds glide)

This is a nice, simple, meditative piece, which could be enhanced with less choppiness.