Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jun 18, 2011
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Hidden Lies
Love once shattered my soul
painful dreams shadowed me
from all harm, scars settled
deep inside.
Time slips by
memories of who she was
scatter as the breeze bellows
through the trees.
Tender thoughts flee endlessly
intensity floods with every beat
mummers trigger misfire
frozen alibis melt the truth away.
Time slips by
ecstasy dissipates from
hidden lies.
Reflections of inner heart.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: just going through something, it'll pass soon enough
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: [This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Nevel
14 years 4 months ago
Hi Kat,
Hi Kat,
welcome to Neopoet, I see you've found your way.
I think because your poem is personal, it's good as it is,
any desire to improve it; just follow your heart.
Greetings,
Erwin
(aka The Cannibalistic Butterfly; a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
Nevel
14 years 4 months ago
Hi #
Hi #
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 4 months ago
Hello
Welcome to "Neopoet land of the freed poets"
I love it when a poet seems to be speaking from their own heart.
it's a well written poem.
There's just one thing, you start in the first person in the first stanza, which for me makes it your pain.
I don't understand why you took it out of the personal. to me that's the power of this write.
But that's just my opinion, it's your poem.
Enjoyed reading it very much!
Regards
Eddie