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Feb 15, 2023
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HINGES( Chariot to hell)
The gates of hell are oiled well
a finger's touch and you'll be in
as the crowd keeps up its steady swell
fools who can not help but sin.
Just one more step you'll be inside
cheek to cheek with ugly angels
who fought to be there then wish they'd died
as dreams and nightmares entangles.
they dance because they dare not stop
for the floor is getting hot
it cooks humans until they become slop
served to demons from an iron pot.
I reckon Milton got it right
as untuned songs turn into screams
and false peace becomes intense fright
Hell is a real hell it seems
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
2 years 4 months ago
Dear Bro
The cadence to me was perfect, I even had favourite lines
Just one more step you'll be inside
cheek to cheek with ugly angels
who fought to be here then wish they'd died
as dreams and nightmares entangles.
This is Brilliant!!! Kudos.
Love and biggest hugs Sis x
scribbler
2 years 4 months ago
hi Jayne
I have no idea where this came from. But I'm pleased you like it
Geezer
2 years 4 months ago
Your local editor...
says that you got a great poem here, but one little thing! The last line [is] good, except for [is]. ~ Geez.
.
scribbler
2 years 4 months ago
Hi Geez
I am fortunate to have so many editors that even late night posts get eagle eyed lol