Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Roscoe Lane
Roscoe Lane
Feb 27, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

His worth in pool

His worth in pool

The dripping sweat
ripples his reflection.

He stares drained,
knowing this
battle has
ended.

No pleasure in this
changing mirror,
quiet reflection
he trembles.

What was his worth,
he had slaughtered
brothers, fathers
on both sides.
Those with sword,
those he lead.

Would he be
forever the rebel
hunted,
willing to die
for his people
for beliefs his
beliefs.

He stands,
leaves no image
to the water….

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Wil we ever appreciate..

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Scotland, Ayrshire land of Burns.., GBR

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

Thank you,

Thank you Rosi, I have a few ideas about this poem so i may change it slightly. Again i say thank you, Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

Thank you,

Thank you Chris for your comments and your time. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

Cris,

Chris i have no idea how my reply ended above, Thanks again Roscoe..

K

Kailashana2

14 years 4 months ago

If it were my poem, I'd omit

If it were my poem, I'd omit the last line, Roscoe as the title alludes to it.

He leaves his face would have more significance which is after all, your intent, n'est-ce pas?
The last line is always the *kicker* in the poem and should convey the deeper meaning.

Read some W.S. Merwin poetry.

~A

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

This face,

This face i think has more meaning, as it's this time. That face, that thought, that moment he can't take with him if he has to continue. I hope i'm correct, but i will think about it. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

I decided,

I decided to change the ending, but not the way suggested, I believe i've got it right, and hope you approve. Thank you, Love Roscoe...