In my mind's eye I could see a chronic drunkard's reality and how his or her life unfolds. Tragic but an awesome write! You just keep on getting darker!

Imbibe Adam’s ale and consume the loathsome antidote,
The process begins again,
Spinning on the never ending wheel of anguish..

Love, it!

Cat

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Cat

Thank you very much

Much love Lou

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Shirl me girl

You are such a great support

Thank you

Love Lou

Psyve

14 years 2 months ago

I read this as a very graphic description of a chronic hangover... the morning after.
Nicely done.
Is Adam's ale a reference to cider ... perhaps a more generic reference to wine and alcohol? I like the allusion to Adam and the original sin i read into this choice of words, although I suspect your intent may have been different.

Psyve

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Psyve

Thank you, Adam's ale is actually another word for water, and the antidote is medication, this is supposed to be a poem about the problems I am having with my parkinsons diseae medication,

Lou

Psyve

14 years 2 months ago

Lou,

I'm sorry, I guess I just misread it completely.
Hope your problems are alleviated soon, though I know the battle with Parkinsons is a long difficult one.
P.

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Psyve

Don't worry you are entitled to take from the poem what ever comes through to you,

I just wanted to express a little of how I feel, just because I often write about what I am experiencing or have experienced,

Thank. You

Lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 2 months ago

lou

lou,

I am guessing this is about your medical condition and its effects on your daily life and emotional stress.

Very detailed account and all I would suggest is to add the first stanza of your poem to the end...like this:

Imbibe Adam’s ale and consume the loathsome antidote,
The process begins again,
Spinning on the never ending wheel of anguish...

...putrid nausea ebbs and flows
spasms of acrid pain,
wrap my brain in torment.

Just to emphasise the never-ending torment.

I wonder if 'Potion' is strong enough given the content...maybe something more aggressive?...just a thought.

Good stuff,

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Dan

I think you are correct about the order of the stanzas, that is something I have been thinking about.

As for the title, I will give it some thought.

Thank you.

Lou