On Hold...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem uses the motif of being "on hold" both literally and metaphorically, creating a meditation on patience and perseverance. The opening lines set the tone by blending the everyday frustration of waiting (possibly on a phone call) with the deeper, emotional act of "holding on" through life's difficulties. The rhyme scheme is consistent and straightforward, contributing to a sense of stability that echoes the poem's theme.

The poem demonstrates control over rhythm and meter, though some lines are more fluid than others. For example, "I may be on hold but I am holding on / all through the hours keeping me strong" flows smoothly, while "of storms which shake us striking weary our souls" is more cumbersome due to its length and syntax. Consider tightening lines for greater impact and musicality.

The poem's imagery is abstract, relying on phrases like "study in patience," "work of art," and "storms which shake us." While these are effective in conveying the emotional landscape, the poem could benefit from more concrete or specific imagery to ground the reader in particular experiences or sensations.

The message is clear and accessible: perseverance in the face of adversity is both necessary and admirable. The closing couplet offers a direct address to the reader, inviting empathy and solidarity. However, the poem risks being overly general at times. Introducing more personal or unique details could help distinguish it from other works on similar themes.

Overall, the poem is cohesive and communicates its message effectively, but it would be strengthened by more varied imagery and attention to line construction.

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Keep holding on! 

Sometimes that's all we can do, 

and hopefully that's enough to make it through.

Thanks Cat, I enjoyed the poem - Will

I enjoyed this poignant piece of writing. It captures that strange, suspended-animation feeling of being "on hold" whether literally on a phone line or metaphorically in life—and transforms it from a moment of frustration into an act of resilience. Regards Ray 

 I agree with the A.I. in that you might condense some lines, but it might ruin the almost rap-attack style, that has one answering questions about how to survive in this world. ~ Geez.
 I did find...    

a couple of places that might help to keep the flow going.

Of storms which shake, striking our weary souls
putting our lives on hold, we hold to our goals.

If you find your life, in such a sorry state,
put yourself on hold, hold on to your fate...

~ Geez.

P.S. Killer thinks it's time to go hunting,
the freezer is almost empty and barbecue season is coming up. 
The boys all send their love, to you and yours,[They're screaming in the background] "Hi eddy" LoL
 

what would be funny? 
If you played the sound of birds chirping, and running water
babbling through a forest sounds, with the water sound most prominent, 
if anyone has to go to the bathroom...Especially in an elevator...  
OMG, that would be soooo... funny! Ha,ha, ha! ~ Geez.

FUNNY INDEED!! - Will