Hollow...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem employs a minimalist style, using short lines and sparse punctuation to convey a sense of shock and emotional paralysis. The ellipses in the title and opening line suggest a lingering, unresolved feeling, effectively setting the tone for the poem. The use of phrases like "my brain in slow motion" and "stuttering to keep up" communicates the disorienting impact of traumatic news, while the shift from individual experience ("I stood in disbelief") to a collective one ("a nation under duress of siege") broadens the scope, connecting personal grief to a larger communal crisis.

There is a noticeable reliance on abstraction and generalization—terms like "news, so horrid" and "a nation under duress of siege" are evocative but lack specific imagery or detail. This approach can be effective for universal resonance, but it risks distancing the reader by not grounding the emotion in concrete experience. The poem could benefit from more specific sensory details or metaphors to deepen the impact and make the emotional response more vivid.

The poem’s structure, with its abrupt line breaks and absence of punctuation, mirrors the fragmented mental state described. However, the phrase "holding it's breath" contains a grammatical error; "it's" should be "its." Attention to such details can strengthen the poem's overall presentation.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a sense of shock and collective anxiety, but it may achieve greater emotional resonance by incorporating more specific imagery and refining language choices.

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I like this piece Cat! I've been here too many times to count after watching world events happen. 

"as all the world stood by

holding it's breath

a nation under duress of siege!"

Nice!

Best

There have been a number of such incidents in our nation's history.  Those are the moments when all the disparate factions unite to face a common enemy.  We need one now.

One suggestion.  I would rewrite the last line thusly:

a nation in duress under siege!

Hello, Cat,

9.11 immediately comes to mind, but I can think of several times our nation and the world have felt this way.  The title is perfect.

Thank you,

Lx

Im sorry u had to experience that day.

Im not sure what else to say. Once again your pacing and word usage digs into my heart.

Think of bone marrow sucked dry. Made me sadder. I truly hope you have something or someone to enrich your beautiful soul

that any nation that has suffered the horrors of war has experienced such raw emotions, but of course, I know whereof you speak. You have captured the abject terror of those moments on 9-11. good stuff, if it can be said of such a tragedy. ~ Geez.

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I’m so glad to see that you’re still here and writing fiercely. I’ve missed my neopoet friends getting lost in my job.

I love your approach here. Disjointed and angular. Each line drives the disbelief and state of shock home. No fluff here. Every word counts. 

Hope you’re doing well and I love getting the holiday letters.

Tim