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May 26, 2021
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holy
To eclipse this world, turn holy, sell out
to holy ideals, bind yourself to no morals,
Embellish in self made ones, quit never
Dejection is the permission
to live right now.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn0IO10Fx7E&t=25s
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Arrow
4 years 1 month ago
I don't understand this
It started off promising for me: there is an interesting contrast in the first line in being holy while selling out. Then, I started having trouble. Can you "sell-out" to holy ideals while detaching from morality? All religions have some moral code. I can understand the idea of becoming holy and, therefore, not being compelled to any other law (moral or otherwise) but I'm not sure if this is what you are trying to say. And I don't understand how dejection constitutes a permission. I hear an echo of "freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose." Dejection seems to be such a weak word. Rejection maybe? This has some interesting ideas but it doesn't quite gel for me.