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Jan 31, 2025
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Hope!
Fiery red sunset
filterinng through my eyes.
Feelings on the surface
come as no surprize.
Hope has been renewed
options now arise.
Soon I hope to leave
this place that I despise!
Don't know yet where I'm going,
but it will eventually materialize.
All I have to do is wait,
in time the blessings will combine!
No one left to turn to,
but my heart holds no disguise.
I've given all I've got to give
I hope that time will fly!
Somewhere down the road aways
my future will materialize.
Freedom to do just as I please
no longer locked inside!
I've learned some things along the way
that may help me recognize.
The power which I hold within
to make a brand new start!
Given the opportunity
I hope to capitalize.
On all my good intentions
and find a place to thrive!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: My life has been haphazard, fraught with discontent. Disease and disabilitiy, well I suppose they're heaven sent. I don't really see things that way, but my luck seems on the rise. Next Autumn I hope to leave this place. It will most likely take that long. All I desire is freedom and the rights which are my own! Please don't subject me to torment. I've been too far down that road. A better opportunity is what I truly desire. A place where I might rest my head and explore the great unknown! Find a few good friends that I can call my own and start a bright new life!
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ruby Lord
5 months 1 week ago
Hi Leslie, I think your flow
Hi Leslie, I think your flow and rhymes are excellent, and I could sense a real feeling of hope here. It's good to see you looking to the future even if it feels distant right now, you are not letting your difficulties have the last word here. That's the beauty of hope. We all feel it, and you did a great job with this poem. Ruby xx
Leslie
5 months 1 week ago
Hope!
Thank you for reading this. I tried very hard to express how I really feel. I hope you are doing well, thanks again John.
Geezer
5 months 1 week ago
I see...
the pattern that you have set, and like it! I too, am pleased that you seem to have reached a plateau where you can see a better future. Take care my friend, keep the goal in sight and keep us informed. ~ Geez.
.
Leslie
5 months 1 week ago
Hope!
Thanks for the read I thought it went well.