Houri

All our lives we've heard tales
Of her deadly desire

Not to let an houri enter
Your breast pierce between

The thighs of another man's wife
Take a virgin in the hidden pass

But wait on the allotted hour
Happiness will enter your kingdom

Though it's written in your every cell
Kiss every mouth interpret every smile

As invitation to the Festival of Love

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

Comments

neopoet

3 months 1 week ago

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Candlewitch

3 months 1 week ago

Dear John,

Is there a typo in this line:

Not to let an (houri) enter

may I make the suggestion for a title? my suggestion is: Invitation.

love, Cat

Dalton

3 months 1 week ago

Hi Dear Cat

An houri is a supernatural being in arabic theology literally meaning "doe-eyed" it represents a beautiful woman in the Islamic paradise promised to all good men. It may be out of place in that sense so maybe should alter for succubus or something of the like? Houri by some legends were portrayed as invisible creatures. Though as they were interpreted as women of rich beauty with a highly sexualised nature in poetry and art though not necessarily in the religious sense I opted for that reference xxx