HOW TO LOSE A LOVER (a 12 step program )

Listen up now all you guys
the following contains no lies
should you wish to live sans lover
here's some hints you can discover :

1.
Forget her name on your first date
after you arrive there late
don't go to get her at front door
just blow car's horn like a true boar
2 .
When talking to your lovely guest
keep your eyes glued to her chest
who cares the color of her eyes
obsess on boobs like all the guys
3 .
Never open doors for her
( Did the thought even occur ? )
and while the two of you go eat
flirt with the waitress, that's real neat
4 .
Should her room mate look real fine
ask her out like a real swine
all that really, truly counts
is the looks of your prospective mounts
5 .
After you first meet her mum
tell your date her mother's dumb
this will win you accolades
or acquaintance with some cold sharp blades
6 .
If you suffer gas or indigestion
belch and fart, there will be no question
open a window just a bit
that will help get rid of it
7 .
Don't forget your last girlfriend
talk about her without end
never say anything bad
say losing her made you real sad
8 .
Snub her family and best friend
which will endear you to no end
after all, you know they're crazy
and not normal like you and me
9 .
Oh ! Be sure to pick your nose
as if from it your finger grows
don't forget to scratch your butt
and to play with your left nutt
10.
Be sure to bathe 'least once a week
that " manly " smell she'll surely seek
never brush your teeth or hair
she'll love this I almost swear
11 .
Never complete any job
this will sure make her heart throb
leaving any job undo...............