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Feb 18, 2022
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How rare to know another.
How rare to know another
A gift it is indeed
Beyond these burdened bodies
Behind vain and human need
Besides vague formalities
That are cast upon our hearts
Past blundered, sleepless souls
Where childhood departs
The cloud of thoughts unshared
A tug of hope ignored
Where the spirit dwells true and bare
And the heart dances it's accord
The sight that never seen
The truth never felt
Going through both life and dream
To never meet or say farewell
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is a poem I wrote a little while back and I just want to hear someone else's perspective on it. I really appreciate anyone who reads or lends some feedback :)
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 4 months ago
Nice rhyming...
I am primarily a rhymer and so naturally gravitate towards those that are too. First line of the last stanza: "The sight [that's] never seen". Good job! Good to see new poets coming in that can write good rhyme. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your stuff! ~ Geezer.
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lovedly
3 years 4 months ago
you must
acknowledge others
then more will come forwards
like our Gee
always does