raj

Jul 01, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Humble Roses

listen to the roses
they gently speak
a language
beyond words

nourished by the soil
groomed by the season
bearing colors of life
gifted with the art of saying
sorry or thank you
with a fragrance
that touches the soul

a fragrance
they give back
even when they wither
till their last breath

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

Rula

7 years ago

Oh raj

how I love this!
If only some would learn the roses talk!
It will be absolutely an awesome world.

If you've ever thought about shortening the title
I will be happy to offer some :)

raj

7 years ago

good to know Rula you liked

good to know Rula you liked this...i always like to use short titles so would welcome your suggestion...
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lovedly

7 years ago

Lovedly

thanks for the read is all I can say because I do not know how to respond to a comment for the sake of comment.
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lovedly

7 years ago

I liked the idea of a rose giving a fragrance "in their last breath." genius! I would consider using a different word than "soil" in the middle or the end of the poem, since it is a short poem and there might be other words you could use, to avoid repetition.
greg

raj

7 years ago

Thanks Greg for the read and

Thanks Greg for the read and comment....you are right about repetition of word "soil" ...i will look for an alternative...

05.07.18 : I've done the edit today based on your suggestion.
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Rula

7 years ago

Sorry for

the belated reply

I thought you can just say "Rosy talks" or
"Gentle talks"
"Gentle Whispers"
"Loyalty Never Dies"

Mmmmm... that's all I think... keep yours, it's really an apt one.

raj

7 years ago

No need to apologize Rula...

No need to apologize Rula....you are a busy woman...

thanks for the suggestions for the title...i will think over them ...
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Rula

7 years ago

A good edit

Raj
But you've missed the "L" in the first line when you did the change.

raj

7 years ago

thanks for the catch Rula..

thanks for the catch Rula...will insert the l again...good to know you liked the edit of the title.....
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Eumolpus

7 years ago

very nice poem!

It's so hard to write any original poem about roses among the untold thousands written about them.
I think you have an original here. Good stuff!!

raj

7 years ago

Hi Eumolpus

thanks for the read and your words of appreciation. Coming from the likes of you mean a lot.

Regards..
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